Hospital Patience

As I mentioned in the last post, I woke in a great mood Saturday. I slept well the night before, I was looking forward to seeing Lucy again...had a nice visit with Jim. I was generally in good spirits. But, mood swings in hospitals are like roller coaster rides. I'm not quite sure what happened but by the time Erin showed up in the afternoon, I was cranky and unpleasant to be around. We got in a little fight. No big deal, one of those millions of little fights that couples get into all the time. I don't even completely remember what it was about (I'm sure Erin will remind me at an inopportune time). Mainly, I'm jealous, depressed, angry, sad and just plain tired of being here. And feeling guilty for putting her through all this. This post is, in a way, an attempt to make amends.

Erin's been a rock through all of this. I can't imagine how hard it is to deal with an infant at home and a extremely ill husband in the hospital. She's been jumping back and forth every day for over a week now. It definitely is taking a toll on her and I won't blame her if she wants to cry, throw things, run away and just bury her head in the sand until it's all over. But she keeps sticking with it, coming in to visit me every day with a cheery smile, trying hard to keep me in a good mood. Erin, I love you and could not get through this without you. Your steadfast support is what's keeping me sane and without you this would be unbearable.

Both of our folks have also been fantastic throughout all of this. Erin's parents (Jim/Petra) have been the best babysitters anyone could ask for while Erin deals with me and hospital issues. OK, I'm sure it's not tortuous for them to spend so much time with their only granddaughter, but they are doing a lot. Their normally active social schedules have been tempered back a bit. They gave up their bedroom so Erin could use it for her and Lucy. And they are constantly going out of their way to make these difficult times as easy as possible for Erin and me.

My folks (Wayne/Debi) down in Florida are making it possible for us to stay in NJ long beyond our original 4 day weekend trip. They drive a half hour each way every day to take care of our dogs. They are keeping up the house (OK, mainly Debi, while Wayne makes sure the TV remote doesn't collect dust). Coordinating with neighbors various chores, etc. In addition to their own day-to-day responsibilities, they're taking care of ours as well, so that when we return there will be little chaos awaiting us.

So to our folks, THANKS! You've been the biggest help anyone could ask for throughout all of this. We love you all and are fortunate beyond words to have such wonderful parents to support through any "crisis."

To Erin, what more can I say? There's no one else who I'd trust to be by my side right now. I look forward to seeing you everyday no matter what mood I'm in (I'll try to keep it pleasant). Without you my depression would be deep and dark. So thank you for providing the light I need to get through every day. I love you beyond words and am so lucky to have you by my side as we get through this ordeal.